I need to change!!!

Dear God Almighty,
Why am i writing this out in my blog? Is there something You want to tell others through me? I just felt that I had to write, or in other words type his out here. First and foremost, i just want to thank You God for everything in my life, everything You have blessed me with. Wonderful friends, wonderful parents and siblings, a very very good growing environment(compared to other people), material things, and most importantly the chance to get to know such a wonderful God like You.

Many times i wonder, those people who loves You so much and serves You with all their heart, since they're filled with You in their lives, does that mean that they never get sad or discouraged? Cause if they do, then does that counter the statement that all christians are always filled with joy and should show everyone how joyful they are to have You in their lives?

Once again, looking into the bible, I found that even David, the man after God's heart, sin and even go through time of sorrow and sadness. What is the purpose of this? What i have experienced is, God wants us to go through these things because these are the times we draw close to God and these are the times God has a chance to be really close to us. Smetimes we're so busy we even forgotten God's existence. Can this also be some sort of a test from God for us? Maybe. Maybe it is time for us to grow in the Lord. We can't be babies forever right. We have to grow from being a baby to becoming a worrior of God.

Many people take things for granted. Myself included. Lets not talk about other and just use me as an example. There are many things i take for granted. For example my time, my talents, my material things, and even God. Talents are gifts from God. If i take them for granted, they could be taken away as easily as it is gifted unto me. I must change. I must stop this attitude of taking things for granted. Help me Lord.

As i look at people around me. The things they do. The sins they commit without even thinking twice, my heart really hurts at the sight of those things. God died on the cross for us, for our sins. Sometimes, we take His forgiveness for granted. We say,"I do this,then after that ask for forgiveness lo,God sure forgive me wan", little did we know that each time we sin, we are nailing Him on the cross once again.

Just imagine this, He beared our sins for us. Just imagine that each one of our sins is one strike of the whip, the whip that tore Jesus's skin apart. Yes, He will definetly forgive you,but don't forget that at the same time when you sin that you're hurting Him again, nailing Him on the cross again. I dont want that. I don't want Him to suffer anymore. Many that don't know Christ sin without even knowing it. So for those of us who know when we're sinning, why don't we just stop it!? I know its impossible not to sin because all of us are humans, but i sure all of us can at least reduce it?

I can guarantee that not sinning won't make you feel worse, it will make you feel better...much much better. I've tried, why not you? I think the most important thing is to spend time with God. Once you do so, everything will fall into place. I'm not saying that is you spend time with God you won't sin la, but at least if you do so consistently, you will realise that you will be guided by the Holy Spirit, which by then should be one of your true friends.

If you feel like you've just went through a lecture, forgive me ^.^

Just want to end this post with a prayer.
Lord Jesus, Thank You Lord for waking me up today, for gifting me with another day in this world. I want to pray Lord that You will continue to reveal my purpose in life. Even right now, i want to pray for those who are facing exams, whether it is spm or stpm or even exam in their unis or colleges, whether it is this month or the next. Just pray that You will be with them Lord, leading them and guiding them all the way. When they feel nervous, i pray that You will instill peace in their hearts Lord. Let them know that You're right beside them Lord. If God is for us, who can be against us?

Lord i pray that if we have sinned against You or have taken You for granted, i pray that You'll forgive us Lord. Pray that all my friends will continue to grow in You, that they will know that You have a plan for them, a plan to prosper them and not to harm them, a plan to give them a hope and a future. You love us so much Lord, and i love You too Lord. True love contains no fear. I pray that You will teach me to have no fear of others that speak bad about You Lord. I pray that i will be able to stand up to those who abuse You and Your name.

I admit that i am weak Lord. Strengthen me Lord. Let the weak say i am strong, let the poor say i am rich, let the blind say i can see, thats what the Lord has done in me. =) All this i pray in Jesus name, Amen.

Beautiful One - Tim Hughes

Wonderful, so wonderful
Is Your unfailing love
Your cross has spoken mercy over me
No eye has seen, no ear has heardNo heart could fully know
How glorious, how beautiful you are!

Beautiful One I love You
Beautiful One I adore
Beautiful One my soul must sing

Powerful, so powerful
Your glory fills the skies
Your mighty works displayed for all to see
The beauty of Your majesty
Awakes my heart to sing
How marvellous, how wonderful You are

You opened my eyes to Your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on earth is as beautiful as You

My soul, my soul must sing
My soul, my soul must sing
My soul, my soul must sing
Beautiful One

Holy Is The Lord-Chris Tomlin

We stand and lift up our hands
For the joy of the Lord is our strength
We bow down and worship Him now
How great, how awesome is He
And together we sing
Everyone sing

[Chorus]
Holy is the Lord God Almighty
The earth is filled with His glory
Holy is the Lord God Almighty
The earth is filled with His glory
The earth is filled with His glory

It's rising up all aroundI
t's the anthem of the Lord's renown

Repeat
And together we sing,Everyone sing

A new beginning

Here we are again. The start of a new semester. New hopes,new dreams,new friends,new environment,new lecturers,new swt ppl,new stories,new goals...but unfortunately...no new handphone,new car,new laptop,new clothes,new underwear....ok, scrap the underwear. Keke.

The fact is, its already week 4 of the new semester. LOL right? Haha. The hope of those new material things is most probably just a dream, as usual i was just crapping =D Well, hope those new dreams and goals won't turn into ashes by the end of this sem. I must really start working hard and stop getting tempted too much. Maybe i should stop blogging right now? Hehe...

Hmmm...(thinking to myself:should i continue?)...Oh well, i shall not prevail. HAHA. So whats the decision?

Apple. Continue
Banana. Come back to this later
Coconut. STOP NOW!!!
Durian. Forget about this whole post

Well, if u know me well enough, i don't fancy banana and i don't like durian so B and D is out. So remains A and C. Honestly, i prefer apple to coconut. So...

Lets continue. HAHA.

As i have said, its already the 4th week of the new semester(guess its not so new d huh). For most people, its already halfway pass their sem. For me, the lucky one(or not so lucky?),i'm going through long sem. Time seems to pass so so so so so so so so quickly this sem. I don't know why. One blink of an eye and its already week 4. And the thing that worries me is that neither me nor any of my group members have started the assignment. Well, we did start a tiny weeny bit la. But honestly, its nothing.

The new so called system of allowing you to choose your own timetable or time slot is...what shall i say...i think...its kinda good la. Get to know new friends and so on. But the thing is, its taking too darn long. First week, no new friends. Second week, form assignment group members, but don't know each other=NO NEW FRIENDS. And its not like i join my friends from the first sem thats why i didn't make new friends, its because of 5 words:YOU TALK ONI I TALK.

So, the epic story continues. 3rd week, made a few new friends la, have to ma, do assignment. At the end of this week, which is the 4th week, in total i've made...lets see...7...new friends. All which are hi bye friends only. Never really like sitting down together talking and crapping and laughing. The other thing is, i think my name is too nice to pronounce. Friends keep calling me "ESMOND!!!", and when i respond "YES?"...they or he/she will say "nothing le" or "jiao shuang"(calling just for fun,for no apparent reason) and i will be like =.=''' .

Well, hope to know those friends better. Still trying to find a good and true friend in utar though. Still praying about it. =) I'm sure God will provide. As i observe the people around me, i realised they are not as they seem. I saw a guy and thought he was quite a good fellow. Good in conversing, dresses well, well mannered. But when i saw him on another occasion, it was a totally different story.

I was walking, minding my own business(as usual), when i saw him with a group of friends. and THEN HE SAID IT. "F*** lah!!! MA C** B**!!!" I was looking at him from an angle thinking "what did you just say?!" I was stunned. After that occasion, i continue observing and realised that many other people were also like that. GOSH~~~ Hope i'm not 1 of them. Although i must admit i do say foul words unintentionally, ya, sometimes its kinda automatic. I try my best to not say those things and keep myself in check though. Still keeping myself in check daily.

These things just prove that people are unpredictable. GOSH, the things you see them do when they're "high", they're just not themselves!!! SCARY MAN~~~And to those who misuse God's and Jesus's name in vain, Lord, i pray that you'll forgive them, for they know not what they do.

God has been continually blessing me since the start of the new semester. THANK YOU GOD!!! Have been listening to the song Thank You Lord by Don Moen. Meaningful. Once again, THANK YOU LORD!!! Hehe...signing off for now.

trying my best to put God first!!!, ezmen =)